Who’s Driving our Fish Tank (How to Write Reviews)

Have you ever noticed that it’s harder to capture something in a few, carefully chosen words than to express yourself without limits?  In April, I took a 3-session class called “How to Review Everything,” with Misha Berson, the former art critic for the Seattle Times. 

Our final assignment was to watch a watch a short film (really short – only 15 minutes!), and review it THREE TIMES, using 100, 250, and 500 words; a terrific challenge.   I decided to tackle the 100-word review first, figuring it would be the hardest.  And also, because lobbing off sentences is harder than adding in more colorful descriptions.  I invite you to read two of my class assignments below.  Here’s a link to the 15-minute film: https://youtu.be/3H6w--lVHlQ

Enjoy!

100-word Review of Our Kind of Love:

Who’s Driving Our Fish Tank?

Our Kind of Love is a fish out of water story.  A young Afghan woman arrives in London to accept the marriage proposal of a stranger, an Afghan-British man determined to marry someone from his own culture.  Their first encounter, essentially a blind date, unfolds like a boxing match.

Co-written by Elham Ehsas and Azeem Bhati, it stars Ehsas as Harun, and Afsaneh Dehrouyeh as Samira.  Harun should have the upper hand.  But it’s Samira who delivers the one-two punches. 

Don’t blink, or you’ll miss a scene-stealing cameo performance by Lucy Sheen, as the Japanese lady at the next table.

500-word Review:

Only one week ago, Samira was a student in Kabul.  She’s traveled 4,000 miles to London, “everyone’s dream,” leaving behind the war back home, and the threat of Taliban restrictions that would end her college education.  Radiant in a crimson red hijab and bright green traditional dress, we watch Samira (Afsaneh Dehrouyeh, Mahdiya Kattan in Season 3 of Fox 21’s Tyrant) taking in the scene around her as she waits for a stranger to join her in a sushi restaurant.  To kill time and manage her anxiety, she rereads a letter from her younger sister, gazing longingly at her photo.  Dehrouyeh’s eyes and eyebrows transport us to her childhood village. 

Our Kind of Love packs a wallop into 15-minutes, exploring universal themes including loyalty to culture, family, identity, and gender roles.  Co-written and directed by Elham Ehsas and Azeem Bhati, and released in November 2018, it’s a fish out of water story.  But who is the fish?  Is it the young Afghan woman or the British-born Afghan man, determined to marry someone with a background similar to his, someone his mother would approve of?

The man, Harun (Elham Ehsas, co-writer/director, who played Assef in Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner) arrives late, and soon leaves to accept a phone call.  Abandoned, Samira watches two koi swimming blithely in a Japanese restaurant’s pretty fish tank.

Photo by zhengtao tang on Unsplash

Essentially a blind date, their encounter unfolds like a boxing match.  Harun should have the upper hand – growing up in London, he’s on his home turf.  But it’s Samira who delivers the one-two punches with her wry observations about life in Afghanistan, its contrast with London, and their predicament as young adults seeking culturally acceptable love.

Dehrouyeh, a British-Iranian actress who speaks fluent Farsi and English, learned Dari for this role.  The uncredited subtitles expertly translate the conversation between the leads.  Equally uncredited is a set designer.  Olan Collardy, Director of Photography, subtly hints at the green background and tattered red hijab of a 12-year-old girl with haunting green eyes in Steve McCurry’s 1984 National Geographic photo, which brought the world’s attention to Afghanistan.

Musical Director, Hollie Buhagiar’s use of the lute-like rabab successfully spans two worlds - are we in a Japanese restaurant in London or Samira’s Afghan village?

Our Kind of Love got Ehsas and Bhati long-listed for a writing-directing BAFTA.  As Harun, Ehsas delivers an adequate performance.  But he and Bhati coax masterful performances from both Dehrouyeh and Lucy Sheen, who nearly steals the show as the Japanese lady observing it all from a nearby table.

Now available on YouTube, this 2018 film provides a great example of life imitating art.  Three years after Harun lamely joked onscreen about two fish in a tank, with the punchline, “Who’s driving this thing?” Israeli researchers announced in January 2022 that they successfully taught a goldfish to drive a small, robotic car.  

Summarizing their predicament in Our Kind of Love, Samira asks Harun, “Who’s driving our fishtank?!”